An Empty Room
Lying there, I opened my eyes and looked around slowly. All lights were dim. I could see puffs of my breath coming out of my mouth. Not moving, my body shivered. My arms were crossed and bound to my chest. I tried to remember how I got here, but failed to do so. "Where am I," I asked myself aloud. I could hear my voice echo and fade away slowly. No other sound was heard.
Making an effort to get myselfup off the well-padded floors, I felt immovable. Still trying hard, almost up ... my whole body rolled over. Flat on my face I waited a while, took a deep breath, and strived to sit up. I began to feel my eyes water and sting. Sweat drops slowly slid down my face. Hopeless but in desperation I wiped my face on the floor. Again I waited and thought of a way to get myselfup. Impatient and with extreme anxiety I began to rock my body. I bumped into a cushioned wall and breathing hard I used my legs and somehow pushed my body and stood up.
I leaned comfortably for a while and rested on the wall. Looking up I then saw a heavy looking door with only a tiny window, almost unbreakable. Examining the door, still from a distance, I noticed something. "No doorknob?" I questioned for a while. I then walked curiously towards the door. It was also cushioned like the wall. "Hum, I've never seen a door like this one." I kept thinking in my head.
Still unable to use my arms, I tried kicking the door open a few times. No results, I was locked up. "What will I do now? How long until someone comes? Will I starve to death? " All these questions ran quickly through my head.
Sooner than I thought, I saw the dim lights begin to brighten up. "Is someone there?" I asked. No answer. "Hum ... Maybe they didn't hear me." So I took a moment then shouted, "Who's there .... Can someone help me ... Get me out of here!" I tried looking through the window, but it was too small.
Moving violently with great effort, I fought to get out of that jacket. I wasn't used to being tied up and unable to use my arms. Just then the door opened ... it was man. Tall, but his back was stooped. He was probably in his 60's. His hair was almost gone ftom the top and the sided were all gray and white. He also had a long hairy beard same color as his hair. One more thing I noticed is that he was wearing a thin, long white coat. I didn't pay too much attention at the time because of all the struggling I was doing trying to get out of that jacket. I panicked when the man suddenly approached me. I didn't know who he was or why he wasn't helping me get out of the jacket, but he was holding a shot with a huge needle.
I began to move my body in a twisting motion avoiding him ftom harming me. I tripped and fell straight to the floor. He was strong. I could no longer keep him from putting the needle into my body. Surrendering I felt a sting on my arm, the liquid began to run through my veins. My body was weak. My eyes began to feel heavy and then shut close.
I opened my eyes and lifted my body quickly to sit up. I couldn't get up. I had been tied on to a bed ftom my wrist and ankles. I didn't know where I was, but it was an unfamiliar room. I had thin white sheets over me, and only one pillow under my head. I lifted my head to look around. There was a black leather chair next to my bed. I noticed a big squared window right in front of my bed. At first it didn't seem like a window it seemed more like a mirror but I could see a little bit of light on the other side. It had to be a window. There was a door to the left of the window. Two bright lights shining right above me that also helped me stay warm. Nothing else was in the room but the sound a big round clock that was ticking right above me on the wall. I couldn't see the clock from where I lay, but I felt time going by excessively slow as I counted the ticks.
I heard the door open and a lady walked towards me and sat down on the chair next to my bed. She looked somewhat really young, about 25.
With a pen in one hand, a clipboard across her opposite arm, and a smile on her face, she asked, "How are you feeling this morning?"
I ignored the question and rushed to ask a few questions of my own. "Where am I? Are you here to help me? Are you a nurse? Can you help me get out of here?"
"Everything will be just fine, you'll see." She chucked as she replied.
"I just have a few questions for you know. If you work with me everything will go a lot smoother." She said in a soft comforting voice.
I didnt wait for a question; instead I began to tell her everything that came to mind at the moment.
"Okay, I don't remember how I got here; all 1 know is that I don't want to be here. The last thing I did before waking up here is go to my doctor like I normally would on a Thursday afternoon. I had told him I wasn't taking the pills he had given me." I took a breath and continued in a lower voice. "Those pills were making my hands look as small as a baby's, but as wrinkled as my mother's. My feet were looking swelled like a clown's, and my shoes wouldn't fit. My head looked too big for my body. But ... my doctor. ... he just laughed .... He laughed at me. Things began to get somewhat violent between us. Last thing I know I woke up in an empty room. And now, now I'm just here lost and confused."
"I think that's all I needed to know." Then she smiled, stood up, and walked away. "Stop, where are you going? Aren"t you going to help me?" As I said this the door closed. I was too tired to do anything so again I closed my eyes and fell asleep.
As I woke up I noticed my arms and legs weren't tied up, I could move. It was the best feeling. I ran around and jumped with joy screaming, "I'm free! I'm free!" I swiftly stopped and came to realize the dim lights, cushioned floor and walls, and the icy weather in there that just made my body shiver. I was in the empty room again. This time I would not stay here.
Noticing a small crack on the door, I walked in a fast pace to get to it. The door was open. I pulled it trying to be as quiet as possible. I knew now no one was here to help, but to call me crazy. I wasn't going to trust anyone, not even my shadow. So I looked around making sure nobody was around to see me escape from the room. After peeking out I heard no noise and nobody was in sight. I stepped out of the room and closed the door shut. Hurring to get out I looked straight and saw a long hallway. I kept walking and looked back, another long hallway. All the doors looked the same to both sides of the hall.
Finally, I got to the elevator at the very end of the hall. I pushed the button on the wall, the doors opened. I pushed the number with a star right by it. I had remembered that's the number that always takes you to the entrance, the one with that lucky star by it. Sure enough the elevator came to a stop and right when the doors opened I saw the entrance which was now my exit to this dreadful place.
I walked away and stopped to read a sign that was on the building. The sign's letters weren't very clear at the top but on bottom the letters were small but clear to read. They read:State Mental Health Hospital. Fearing to go back there I walked fast and then began to run still thinking about that place. I ran for a while then noticed I had run passed my house. I was in a familiar neighborhood now and breathing hard I walked in a regular pace. I felt my heart pumping fast and my body cold but sweaty ftom the running.
Most of the houses were decorated with colored lights on their roofs. Many people had either left their homes or had relatives visiting at this time of year. Hoping nobody saw me I walked through my yard and just looked down watching every step I took. I stepped in front of my door turned the knob and sure enough I had left it unlocked. I entered my house and sat on the couch for a while just thinking.
I'm home now. I feel safe here. I won't go anywhere, not even to buy groceries. I'll live off the food that's here and maybe when I finish it I'll starve to death. I've lost my job, my family and all my friends. Maybe I'm not crazy they just don't understand me. It's Christmas Eve and I'm feeling very lonely. Tomorrow I won't be receiving gifts but the only gift I would want is my normal life like it once was. "Should I do it? Should I just shoot myself instead?"
I had always thought of doing this but I never really did it. I was afraid to die but I was also afraid to live and keep suffering. I reached under the cushion of my couch, right under where I was sitting. There it was, right where I had left it last. I smiled and held up my gun. Not thinking anymore. I knew there was only one bullet. Now was my chance. I pointed the gun straight into my mouth and pulled the trigger.
"No Bullet!" I panicked and rushed to the kitchen to get myself a glass of water with sugar. "What will I do now?" I thought. Walking back calmly I looked down right beside the sofa. My son was lying there with a paper beside him.
Dear Dad,
I came to wish you a Merry Christmas but didn't find you. I know you're not crazy like everyone says. Mom left us for some man. I just can't take all the pain. I know if I don't use this bullet you will. You can take care of my brothers and sisters better than I would Sorry to cause all this pain.
I Love You.
Making an effort to get myselfup off the well-padded floors, I felt immovable. Still trying hard, almost up ... my whole body rolled over. Flat on my face I waited a while, took a deep breath, and strived to sit up. I began to feel my eyes water and sting. Sweat drops slowly slid down my face. Hopeless but in desperation I wiped my face on the floor. Again I waited and thought of a way to get myselfup. Impatient and with extreme anxiety I began to rock my body. I bumped into a cushioned wall and breathing hard I used my legs and somehow pushed my body and stood up.
I leaned comfortably for a while and rested on the wall. Looking up I then saw a heavy looking door with only a tiny window, almost unbreakable. Examining the door, still from a distance, I noticed something. "No doorknob?" I questioned for a while. I then walked curiously towards the door. It was also cushioned like the wall. "Hum, I've never seen a door like this one." I kept thinking in my head.
Still unable to use my arms, I tried kicking the door open a few times. No results, I was locked up. "What will I do now? How long until someone comes? Will I starve to death? " All these questions ran quickly through my head.
Sooner than I thought, I saw the dim lights begin to brighten up. "Is someone there?" I asked. No answer. "Hum ... Maybe they didn't hear me." So I took a moment then shouted, "Who's there .... Can someone help me ... Get me out of here!" I tried looking through the window, but it was too small.
Moving violently with great effort, I fought to get out of that jacket. I wasn't used to being tied up and unable to use my arms. Just then the door opened ... it was man. Tall, but his back was stooped. He was probably in his 60's. His hair was almost gone ftom the top and the sided were all gray and white. He also had a long hairy beard same color as his hair. One more thing I noticed is that he was wearing a thin, long white coat. I didn't pay too much attention at the time because of all the struggling I was doing trying to get out of that jacket. I panicked when the man suddenly approached me. I didn't know who he was or why he wasn't helping me get out of the jacket, but he was holding a shot with a huge needle.
I began to move my body in a twisting motion avoiding him ftom harming me. I tripped and fell straight to the floor. He was strong. I could no longer keep him from putting the needle into my body. Surrendering I felt a sting on my arm, the liquid began to run through my veins. My body was weak. My eyes began to feel heavy and then shut close.
I opened my eyes and lifted my body quickly to sit up. I couldn't get up. I had been tied on to a bed ftom my wrist and ankles. I didn't know where I was, but it was an unfamiliar room. I had thin white sheets over me, and only one pillow under my head. I lifted my head to look around. There was a black leather chair next to my bed. I noticed a big squared window right in front of my bed. At first it didn't seem like a window it seemed more like a mirror but I could see a little bit of light on the other side. It had to be a window. There was a door to the left of the window. Two bright lights shining right above me that also helped me stay warm. Nothing else was in the room but the sound a big round clock that was ticking right above me on the wall. I couldn't see the clock from where I lay, but I felt time going by excessively slow as I counted the ticks.
I heard the door open and a lady walked towards me and sat down on the chair next to my bed. She looked somewhat really young, about 25.
With a pen in one hand, a clipboard across her opposite arm, and a smile on her face, she asked, "How are you feeling this morning?"
I ignored the question and rushed to ask a few questions of my own. "Where am I? Are you here to help me? Are you a nurse? Can you help me get out of here?"
"Everything will be just fine, you'll see." She chucked as she replied.
"I just have a few questions for you know. If you work with me everything will go a lot smoother." She said in a soft comforting voice.
I didnt wait for a question; instead I began to tell her everything that came to mind at the moment.
"Okay, I don't remember how I got here; all 1 know is that I don't want to be here. The last thing I did before waking up here is go to my doctor like I normally would on a Thursday afternoon. I had told him I wasn't taking the pills he had given me." I took a breath and continued in a lower voice. "Those pills were making my hands look as small as a baby's, but as wrinkled as my mother's. My feet were looking swelled like a clown's, and my shoes wouldn't fit. My head looked too big for my body. But ... my doctor. ... he just laughed .... He laughed at me. Things began to get somewhat violent between us. Last thing I know I woke up in an empty room. And now, now I'm just here lost and confused."
"I think that's all I needed to know." Then she smiled, stood up, and walked away. "Stop, where are you going? Aren"t you going to help me?" As I said this the door closed. I was too tired to do anything so again I closed my eyes and fell asleep.
As I woke up I noticed my arms and legs weren't tied up, I could move. It was the best feeling. I ran around and jumped with joy screaming, "I'm free! I'm free!" I swiftly stopped and came to realize the dim lights, cushioned floor and walls, and the icy weather in there that just made my body shiver. I was in the empty room again. This time I would not stay here.
Noticing a small crack on the door, I walked in a fast pace to get to it. The door was open. I pulled it trying to be as quiet as possible. I knew now no one was here to help, but to call me crazy. I wasn't going to trust anyone, not even my shadow. So I looked around making sure nobody was around to see me escape from the room. After peeking out I heard no noise and nobody was in sight. I stepped out of the room and closed the door shut. Hurring to get out I looked straight and saw a long hallway. I kept walking and looked back, another long hallway. All the doors looked the same to both sides of the hall.
Finally, I got to the elevator at the very end of the hall. I pushed the button on the wall, the doors opened. I pushed the number with a star right by it. I had remembered that's the number that always takes you to the entrance, the one with that lucky star by it. Sure enough the elevator came to a stop and right when the doors opened I saw the entrance which was now my exit to this dreadful place.
I walked away and stopped to read a sign that was on the building. The sign's letters weren't very clear at the top but on bottom the letters were small but clear to read. They read:State Mental Health Hospital. Fearing to go back there I walked fast and then began to run still thinking about that place. I ran for a while then noticed I had run passed my house. I was in a familiar neighborhood now and breathing hard I walked in a regular pace. I felt my heart pumping fast and my body cold but sweaty ftom the running.
Most of the houses were decorated with colored lights on their roofs. Many people had either left their homes or had relatives visiting at this time of year. Hoping nobody saw me I walked through my yard and just looked down watching every step I took. I stepped in front of my door turned the knob and sure enough I had left it unlocked. I entered my house and sat on the couch for a while just thinking.
I'm home now. I feel safe here. I won't go anywhere, not even to buy groceries. I'll live off the food that's here and maybe when I finish it I'll starve to death. I've lost my job, my family and all my friends. Maybe I'm not crazy they just don't understand me. It's Christmas Eve and I'm feeling very lonely. Tomorrow I won't be receiving gifts but the only gift I would want is my normal life like it once was. "Should I do it? Should I just shoot myself instead?"
I had always thought of doing this but I never really did it. I was afraid to die but I was also afraid to live and keep suffering. I reached under the cushion of my couch, right under where I was sitting. There it was, right where I had left it last. I smiled and held up my gun. Not thinking anymore. I knew there was only one bullet. Now was my chance. I pointed the gun straight into my mouth and pulled the trigger.
"No Bullet!" I panicked and rushed to the kitchen to get myself a glass of water with sugar. "What will I do now?" I thought. Walking back calmly I looked down right beside the sofa. My son was lying there with a paper beside him.
Dear Dad,
I came to wish you a Merry Christmas but didn't find you. I know you're not crazy like everyone says. Mom left us for some man. I just can't take all the pain. I know if I don't use this bullet you will. You can take care of my brothers and sisters better than I would Sorry to cause all this pain.
I Love You.
