She sat at her window listening to the pitter patter of the rain on the warm sand. The smell of the wet dirt calmed her as she breathed it in deeply, as if she had just spent too long under water. The salty taste of her tears had begun to make her nauseous. She could feel the piercing headache that usually followed these incidents coming on. She's a petite woman, with long black hair and gorgeous amber eyes, like honey. When she spoke, she did so with her whole body, and most of the time she never had to speak at all, a million words and feelings could be convexed simply in her expression. And although her eyes had seen more than most twice her age, they remained virgin.

She hadn't realized that she had stopped rocking in the mahogany rocking chair her husband had made for her as a gift for their wedding day. Her mind had been completely blank as she stared into the orange desert sunset. The rain had also stopped, and as she took notice, she yearned for it to return. She always felt better when it rained, perhaps because it made her recall the story of her birth. Her mother had named her after the rain. And just like the rain her tears had also stopped. As she yearned for the rain, Rein was reminded of her husband, when they were first married. She remembered with affection how she would long for him when he was at work. How she would anticipate the turning of his key in the door, like a child eagerly awaits Santa Claus on Christmas Eve. Still sitting in the rocking chair, she could feel the brush of his mustache as he softly kissed her and whispered, "I'm home baby." She always pretended to be asleep. He'd brush her soft hair off her pale face and stare awhile, then retreat to the shower. The passion with which they made love when he returned was insurmountable. He worshiped her whole body from her eyes down to her toes. Although it would be physically impossible for their bodies to be any closer, Rein always felt it wasn't close enough, she always craved more.

Rein and Angel had been married five years now. The stares of adornment have turned to sharp glances of contempt, and soft caresses had turned to shoves and humiliating slaps across the face. She still waited for the sound of the key in the door with the same anticipation, hoping the particular night would be different, and things might go back to the way they were... maybe it had all been a dream. But the best she ever got now was when Angel fell asleep in the den and never bothered with her at all.

She was startled out of her trance by the sound of the phone. The loud ringing hurt her head, and she labored to pull herself up out of the chair, her body beginning to ache. "Hello." It was her father. It was custom for him to call several times a week to check on fier. He loved her very much, and constantly needed to be reassured that she was happy. Of course Rein never let on to any of her unhappiness or misfortunes. But her always sensed something, which accounted for all his calls. He asked all his usual questions, and Rein tried to brighten her voice as she fought back her tears. She hated lying, especially to her dad. As her father went on about his day and the goings on of Reins younger sisters, she fell into another memory. A memory of when she was maybe fourteen. She had been caught in a lie by her father. Although her father loved her very much, she was his first child, he had an insane temper. She held the phone to her ear and could faintly hear the babble of her father's voice. She made sure to utter ohs, and uh hus every so often. But her mind was engulfed in her memory, she felt the impact of her back against the wall, and her fathers hot breath on her face, and the impressions of his thumbs on her arms.

Now instead of faint babble she heard in a loud booming, " Why do you insist on pushing my buttons! You are not satisfied until I blow up.. .are you! Do you like making me like this? Do you Rein! Little bitch! You are the only one in all my life that can make me lose control like this! God damn it!".. .Hello., .Mi'ja..are you there?" "Yes daddy, I'm here, I'm sorry." She reassured her father she was fine and hung up the phone. She went back to her rocking chair and could not shake the bad memory. She remembered being . fourteen and thinking nobody makes you act any which way, a grown man should be able to control himself especially with someone halfhis size, especially with a woman. Sitting in the chair she agreed with her fourteen year old self.

The rain had returned and it muffled the sound of his key in the door. She was startled when she felt his rough hand on her shoulder. She quickly stood up, and backed against the window. Angel looked sad, his eyes were swollen as ifhe'd been crying, and his hand was wrapped in a small white dish towel, with a small amount of blood seeping through. Rein put her finger to her temple and felt a rough patch of dried blood, and realized the earlier quarrel had been worse than any previous. He asked her if she was scared of him now. She didn't reply. The shiny wood floor creeked as he stepped closer towards her. As she couldn't retreat any further back, she turned her head so far that she could feel the cool air coming off the foggy window on her cheek. He softly touched her cheek and brushed the hair off her face, she closed her eyes, and leaned into his hand. "Do you know you are the only one who can make me so crazy? I love you more than anything in my whole life, and yet you anger me more than anything in my whole life." His voice changed, "Do you like doing this to me! Do you see what you've turned me into!" He was squeezing her face now, and she stared at him in utter shock. She could feel with all of her body her shame welling up with her tears.